


Touch Me

by wordsmithraven



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Post-Episode: s02e10 By The Light Of Dawn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 08:44:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10272731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordsmithraven/pseuds/wordsmithraven
Summary: When Alec starts to question why Magnus so rarely initiates contact, the powerful warlock and Alec's own siblings are put on the spot. It's a conversation a long time coming but is Magnus ready to have it? And can Alec handle the answer he receives?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo…I was writing for “Child of the Heart” and this plot bunny grabbed me by the throat and wouldn’t let go until I wrote it. So I interrupt to post this. It’s a one-shot about the lack of intimacy we’ve all noticed in the first half of the season (most glaring in the episode where they apparently had SEX) where I try to merge what I believe the writers are trying to portray in their script and my version of Magnus’ head space based on Harry’s lovely acting.
> 
> *Spoilers up to S2E10 and minor ones for the Bane Chronicles.
> 
> There's sex, which is why this is rated M so...don't @ me in offense unless I wrote it in a weird way and that's what you find offensive. lmao
> 
> Have fun and leave comments!

“He never touches me.”

Jace froze, mouth millimeters away from the rim of the bottle of lager he was just about to pull from. His eyes cut to Alec sitting despondently across Izzy’s room in her love seat, devoid of the feather boas and colorful scarves that used to adorn it; sacrifices made to appease their parents.

Jace darted his gaze to where Izzy sat lounging on her bed eating popcorn and drinking herself. She had frozen too and, though they weren’t _parabatai_ , they had a different kind of telepathy, an Alec-pathy, which made her meet his eyes the second he looked over. They had developed it a long time ago as a natural extension of their mutual agreement to always look out for Alec even when he wouldn’t look out for himself. An electric connection that they used to try and navigate Alec’s lifelong emotional turmoil in a way that hopefully gave him the support he needed.

Jace and Alec had a similar thing for Izzy and he knew without them ever saying that his siblings had one for him. Max, of course, benefited from the triple threat telepathic whammy of all of them worrying. Jace idly wondered if other siblings developed this kind of thing or if it was unique to the Lightwood children.

Izzy gave him a _look_ and Jace knew it was his turn to steer this emotional carpool. Too bad he sucked at driving.

“Touching…how?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Izzy grimace around her beer bottle. Clearly their telepathy wasn’t as strong as he thought because he had a feeling she didn’t think that was the right thing to say.

“Jace… _please_.” Alec’s voice was a little strained and a little slurred from his own drinking.

It was a tradition of theirs to meet sometimes in one of their rooms and just…be together. Talk, watch a movie, or just sit together quietly. Occasionally Max joined them but he had been schooling in Mumbai often lately with the war on and sometimes the age gap made it difficult when they wanted to talk about or do more adult things. Like now. Drinking beer, eating junk food, and talking about sex or _whatever_ they were talking about. Even though Jace lived with Magnus right now and the war had put a pause to their sibling hangouts, they had recently started trying to meet again. Especially after Izzy’s recovery from her _yin fen_ addiction. She had really needed them.

The alcohol was a new thing. Izzy was very much a casual drinker and had been for years but Jace and Alec had never really drunk much before. Jace pretty much figured Alec hated drinking based on the faces he always made when alcohol touched his tongue. They’d tried it once together when they were seventeen and feeling daring enough to break into their parents’ liquor cabinet, and both decided not to continue after the ensuing results. They had to be clearheaded to be the kind of warriors they needed to be. Recently, however, they’d both taken it up—Jace far more heavily than Alec and for far different reasons, he suspected. A twirling beringed hand cupping a wine glass flashed in his mind at the thought, which is why he knew Alec’s drinking likely had a different source. Not…whatever was going on with Jace.

Somehow Jace didn’t think Alec was drinking to cope with a homicidal maniac not-father currently locked up in a dungeon after he somehow managed to make having extra angel blood _worse_ than having extra demon blood, with dozens of dead downworlders as proof. Nor did he think Alec was drinking to cover over unrequited feelings for a not-sister who he used to think was a sister-sister but it didn’t matter that they’re not siblings anymore cause she’s _happy_ and you’re gonna let her be happy instead of fucking it up with all of…your shit.

 _Shit! This is about Alec. Focus,_ Jace thought angrily. He gulped more of his drink to steady himself—though he wondered if it was the drinking that had caused him to get all introspective and maudlin—and turned back to the more pressing topic.

“I didn’t mean like that…ok, maybe I meant it a little like that but,” Jace saw Izzy’s whole face contort and she made a frantic abort motion with her hands while Alec gazed deeply into his beer bottle and missed the entire exchange, “ah, listen, I am a little drunk right now and you are talking about complex emotions which, I’ll have you know, I currently do not engage with at all…”

Izzy looked like she wanted to die. Jace licked his lips a little, took a look at the empty bottle in his hand, and determinedly set it down next to the six others scattered next to his legs on the floor. He decided to ignore the flush of embarrassment at the number of beers he had drunk and focused on getting his words out right.

“Ok, just elaborate, brother.” There.

Alec sighed and finally looked up at them, head swinging back and forth between his siblings.

“Magnus, he- he never touches me.” He had a confused look on his face and Jace’s heart clenched a little.

“Ok, how do you define ‘never’,” Jace asked as delicately as possible which was not at all, “cuz I gotta say, I’ve lived at Magnus’ for a few months now and I have seen some things that would suggest otherwise.”

Now Izzy looked like she wanted to murder him. Meanwhile, Alec had turned redder than a tomato at even the slightest hint that Jace had seen him and Magnus being intimate. Jace decided to snap his mouth shut. His Alec-pathy was really off today which was especially strange since they were _parabatai_ and he and Izzy were usually very in synch. Izzy stepped in.

“What Jace _meant_ , Alec, is that we’ve seen you together and you’ve seemed okay but if you’re saying you’re not, big brother…”

Alec’s complexion calmed down a bit and he ventured a clearer explanation, “What I meant was he- First. He almost never touches me first.” He turned a bit red again. “When we kiss, I kiss him. When we hug, I hug him. When we hold hands, I’m usually the one who- who reaches out.”

Alec looked deep into their eyes then, switching between them frantically, searching both for answers Jace wasn’t sure they had. But damned if they wouldn’t try.

Jace tried again, “Ok, you said ‘never’ and then you said ‘almost never’ after. Do you mean- ah, which one do you mean?”

Alec bit his lips a little but his brow stayed furrowed. “Almost. But I mean, in the three months since we’ve been together—I mean _really_ together. Like, after our first date together—I could probably count the number of times he’s touched me on his own on one hand. He’s never kissed me first.”

Izzy and Jace shared another glance. She tentatively answered him, “Well…I won’t say it’s not a little strange but I don’t think-”

“Does he not want me?”

Alec’s voice had cracked a little and there was a slight tremor that threatened to break free at any second. Alec seemed to notice it and he straightened abruptly, cleared his throat, and took a long drag from his beer. His third one that night. There was still a fragility about him that surrounded him and waved through the _parabatai_ bond, as if any wrong move from Izzy or Jace (or Magnus) might break him.

Jace thought back to the unfortunate time when he had tried to give Magnus the Shovel Talk and while he definitely meant it that he would protect Alec no matter what, he internally cringed at his own audacity to give Magnus the Talk while living in his home and eating his food and drinking all of his whiskey…for free. Probably based largely on Magnus’ feelings for Alec, if he really thought about it. He knew Magnus cared about Alec. Of course he did. He’d watched the warlock and his _parabatai_ dance around each other for ages. Magnus had done so much for Alec and their family, it was kind of embarrassing that they never did much for him at all.

“No, Alec, no way,” Jace tried. “Have you seen Magnus around you? Ever? The way he came running into your wedding is proof enough that he wants you.” Jace hoped that was the right thing to say. He looked over to Izzy and saw her nodding enthusiastically. Alec-pathy back online probably.

“He’s right, Alec. And you should’ve seen him when you were in your coma. He was so protective. I thought he was gonna kill Raj and Aldertree next at one point in order to take care of you.” Izzy sat up from her lounged position and leaned forward sharply in order to really emphasize her point. “Magnus would do _anything_ for you. He definitely wants you.”

“I thought after we- after we had s- sex that it’d be different but it’s not,” Alec said miserably. “We even said ‘I love you’ to each other. No change.”

Izzy jerked a little and set her beer down on her night stand. She swung wide eyes over to Jace but he shook his head. Alec and Magnus’ apparent declarations of love were news to him too.

Jace turned his attention back to Alec. “Has he- when you two are…together, how does he act?”

Alec turned back into a tomato. “It’s good- he’s good. I- I mean, we- he touches me fine then. Really into- into it. _Me_ , I mean.” Now Alec looked like _he_ wanted to die, with a red face and deer-in-the-headlights eyes so wide they looked like they could pop out. He guzzled the rest of his beer and reached for another from the cooler in front of them.

Izzy tried to recover from that confused and awkward jumble. Jace grimaced, _Angel above, why is this conversation so excruciating?_ Now Jace wanted to end it all to stop this.

“So, you guys are…intimate and he’s fine. He kisses back fine. It’s only initiating that he doesn’t do. So…” Izzy trailed off but Jace perked up, catching her drift.

“He probably doesn’t want to hurt you.” Jace’s mouth twisted a little at his poor word choice that dipped into innuendo territory and tried again, “Or rather he doesn’t want to scare you.”

Izzy nodded, “Right. You’re younger and new to all this. He just wants to be careful.”

“I don’t _want_ him to be careful,” Alec shouted a little belligerently.

Jace carefully eased the cooler of beers away from Alec and closer to Izzy’s bed. Maybe they both needed to cool it on the drinking tonight. He’d get up to get water for them but Jace didn’t want to interrupt the flow of the conversation since it was so important.

“I told him on our first date not to treat me any differently.”

“But you _are_ different, _hermano_.”

Alec paused, “That’s what Magnus said too.”

“Then we’re both right.”

Jace chimed in then, “Look, man, have you talked to him about it?”

Alec met his gaze slowly like he was thinking hard. “No. I- I didn’t want it to be awkward or anything. I just want to be- I just-” He blinked hard and took another swig from his beer. “We usually talk so much. About anything…everything. Why is this so hard to talk about?”

Izzy answered in a softened voice, “It’s probably because you’re embarrassed about it. Feeling insecure. But you don’t have to be. I told you before, Magnus cares about you. Just go to him.”

Jace nodded, “Right. Just dive in like you usually do. We can only guess what he’s thinking. If you really want to know why he never initiates touches, you have to get it from him.”

_Why am I making so many fucking double entendres?_

Alec’s face grew tense with determination even as his body relaxed with whatever decision he’d come to. “You guys are right,” he said and finished off his current bottle, setting it next to his own cache of empty bottles, and jerked up out of his chair. “I’m gonna go see him,” he slurred and swayed a bit.

Jace leapt up to try and catch him. “Whoa, whoa, buddy. Tomorrow. You’re gonna see him tomorrow when you’re sober and not gonna say something you’ll regret.”

Izzy scoffed beside them, stone cold sober despite the equal amount she had drunk that night. “Good god, both of you lay down now, you lightweights. I’m gonna get us some water and electrolytes and we are gonna all sleep this night off right here—you too, Jace—and make good choices tomorrow morning.”

Izzy glided smoothly from the room while Jace wrapped Alec in a hug and the two swung side to side in their inebriated states.

***

Magnus was so enraptured by the potion he was carefully brewing, he didn’t even hear the loft door open.

His jumbo sized cauldron sat on his work table with a low magical fire keeping the concoction simmering at exactly the heat he needed. It bubbled a little, letting out vermillion puffs of smoke that turned indigo when they hit the cool, spring air of his loft. He perched diligently on a stool, waiting for the precise moment he needed to add the sprinkle of moon pixie dust to the potion and finish what he’d been working on for two hours.

It was a soothing potion meant to help counteract the wolf transformations for a pregnant werewolf. Violent transformations were extremely bad for those carrying babies and often led to miscarriage. It was best they not transform at all, of course, and the pregnant wolf usually worked hard not to but with hormones going haywire and werewolves’ generally volatile natures, slip ups happened. The potion Magnus was making could mean the difference between life and death for those unborn children.

He had a standing contract with Luke for his pack to make the potion regularly and it was near time for their latest delivery. The pack didn’t know when they would have need of it but Luke knew they needed it on hand just in case, surprise pregnancies being common among mortals. The potion kept well for only a few months but had relatively simple and cheap ingredients so it was a very lucrative contract for Magnus. He gave Luke a _small_ discount based on their long friendship and professional relationship ever since Magnus had started erasing Clary’s young mind some twelve years before.

Most of his pay was charged for the skill. The potion may have had simple ingredients but mixing them required an exacting precision that many young warlocks lacked. The potion could be very volatile if they were not careful. The potency and shelf life could also be affected by subpar brewing. Thus his level of skill was a necessity.

And thus why Magnus was so focused on the work at hand.

“Magnus!”

Magnus jumped and it was only due to his quick reflexes that he didn’t dump the entire jar of moon pixie dust into the cauldron before him and ruin the whole batch. His right eye twitched a little beneath his work goggles but as it was his sweet Alexander’s voice and not his rather maddening shadowhunter roommate, he decided to let his ire dissipate along with the red-purple smoke of his brew.

“In here, darling,” he shouted instead through his face mask, refocusing his concentration on his work. He had been surprised but he had not lost his internal timer and he was still on track.

He saw Alec enter his work room from the corner of his eye, a little distorted by his goggles. His Alec’s gait looked nervous and his hands balled into fists and released over and over. He hovered awkwardly by the door.

“One moment, I’m…almost… _done_.” On his last word, Magnus sprinkled the precise amount of dust in a layer over the top of the potion. The concoction bubbled and hissed, blazed a vibrant white light, then settled into a deep sapphire. A pleasant aroma like cinnamon rose from the finished product and permeated the air. He had added his own special tweak to the potion to make it more palatable for the drinkers. No need to cause undue stress on them because the potion tasted like old socks.

He gave the entire thing a few short swirls with a stirring rod, banished the fire to let it sit, then plopped a lid over the cauldron. It did not need any bugs to fall into it before it finished. In about four hours it would cool and he could bottle it into little jars for Luke.

He turned from the cauldron and started to remove his protective gear as he strode closer to the door and to Alec. He smiled brightly at the young man as he gazed deeply into his hazel eyes, utterly forgetting the twinge of annoyance he had felt at being interrupted.

Alec smiled back a little softly, something in his eye that gave Magnus a pause. Then Alec leaned forward as if to give him a kiss and Magnus jumped back hurriedly. Alec’s smile disappeared completely.

Magnus rushed to reassure him, “Oh, no, you should wait. I have to get rid of this gear first. This potion is not very safe before it cools.”

He quickly shoved his gear into the hazardous material bin next to his work room door. Usually he would magically clean his things but with this potion…that would be ill advised. Some potions were like that so he sometimes had to manually clean things. Until then all the soiled clothes and utensils went in the bin for later.

Alec leaned in again but Magnus threw up his hands to stop him once more.

“Let me just clean up really quickly. This potion _really_ doesn’t mix well with magic or people. Better safe than sorry.”

He rushed into his lab bathroom and had the quickest disinfecting shower of his life. It couldn’t have been more than fifteen or twenty minutes but, honestly, he didn’t feel that bad either way. Alec knew mornings were his laboratory hours so he should’ve expected Magnus to be busy when he came over at this time. It was only luck, really, that he had been finishing up when he had. If he had been working on Ghoul Bane instead of Infant’s Moon, Alec would’ve been left to his own.

Magnus left his private rooms already changed into loose cotton pants and a black tank top stretched across his broad torso. His tawny skin with amber undertones glistened under lingering shower water. He was toweling his hair dry still. He didn’t like to use any magic at all in the loft while he brewed a potion so volatile before he had the proper time to air out any magic sensitive fumes, so he did everything the mundane way. He had no make-up or jewelry on and his glamor covering his mark was down; he was utterly comfortable to be so bare before Alec.

Alec had situated himself in the kitchen, a cup of coffee in his hand. When Magnus approached he pushed a second cup towards him and Magnus took it up to sip, setting his towel down on the back of a stool. Alec had brewed it perfectly and had even added a dollop of cream just like Magnus liked it. Heavenly.

“What brings you here so early? When you and Jace didn’t come home last night, I thought I wouldn’t see you at all until tonight maybe.”

Magnus blew a little on his coffee and eased into an oscillating kitchen stool next to Alec. He blinked at the shadowhunter with an open face, taking the warrior’s familiar social hesitation as the perfect opportunity to look him over.

Alec was as handsome as ever, though a little puffy around the eyes like he had not slept well. His lips were bright pink where they lightly touched the rim of his mug and a lovely blush suffused his cheeks. He wore his standard outfit of black on black combat clothes with his leather jacket hung over the seat back of his tall stool. His runes showed in stark contrast to his skin, his Deflect rune particularly drawing Magnus’ eye as it was always wont to do.

Magnus pursed his lips lightly as he thought about running his tongue over it but he controlled himself and drank his coffee instead. It didn’t taste nearly as good as Alec’s skin but he had a feeling whatever Alec was working himself up to saying would require his full attention. It would not do for Alec to look at him hoping for a talk and instead find someone salivating at the mouth.

Good god, he had missed Alec last night. Plus working complicated potions and spells always made him a little horny. And Alec’s neck. A dangerous combination, really.

Magnus very carefully looked into Alec’s eyes as he turned to speak, hoping his blatant ogling had gone unnoticed.

“Why don’t you ever touch me first?”

Magnus stilled completely, a viper locked into a coil, his cup halfway to his mouth.

That had certainly _not_ been what he’d thought Alec would say. In fact, Magnus found himself rather without words at all initially. A rare occurrence for him. He blinked long and slow then set his cup down on the counter. He went carefully, feeling his way around the conversation.

“What brought on this line of questioning?”

Alec hunched a little over his mug, hands turning the warm thing around and around on the counter.

“I just- Last night I was with Jace and Izzy. We were drinking and talking…about a lot of things and I just kind of- I kind of blurted it out.” He bit a little at his plump bottom lip and Magnus did not let himself get distracted from this unexpectedly serious conversation for 10am.

“Do you- I mean, am I not- Do you not want to touch me…that much?”

Alec’s voice had become agonized and he did not meet Magnus’ gaze, finding more comfort looking down at his mug. It reminded Magnus of their first date when the young man had confessed about why he didn’t date much or ever at all. Which, coincidentally, was pertinent to the conversation he was set on having with Magnus right then.

“Oh, Alec,” Magnus whispered, knowing somehow he had made a wrong move in the last few months. All because he had been trying so hard to not do exactly that.

Alec straightened suddenly, his training kicking in and firming up his posture and his voice.

“It’s fine if you don’t. I can- _We_ can figure out something else, if you need that.”

Of course. Of course Alec would say that. It made perfect sense in his mind that “Magnus didn’t want him really; he didn’t want to touch him.” Magnus was the only frame of reference he really had for such things; Alec had not allowed anyone before him to ever try.

“No,” Magnus said in a sharp tone. Alec shot his head around, body so tense Magnus wondered why he didn’t vibrate off the stool. “No. That’s not why I’ve refrained from touching you, Alexander. Let that thought go immediately.”

“Then, why?” Alec’s voice was a bit breathy, a bit overwhelmed with desperation, but his eyes were locked onto the side of Magnus’ face.

Magnus sighed and turned to face his lover full on. No holding back now or he could kiss this relationship goodbye along with countless others before.

He thought back to Camille then whom he had poured his entire love into hoping to fill their lives up with all of him and all of them together. But she had not wanted it. Or rather, she had wanted every single drop of him only to spill it all onto the floor whenever she had a fancy then turn back and ask for even more. By the time she had finished with him, he had been utterly empty. In some ways perhaps he still was.

Magnus’ eyelashes fluttered erratically as he tried to find the right things to say to make this better. To fix what he'd done wrong.

“I have a habit of being too much…”

He thought of Imasu then, with whom he had been so careful, trying so hard not to overwhelm the man. He had tried not to pour out too much of his love after everything with Camille and at first it had seemed to work. Then he woke one morning wanting to finally give him everything—the secret of his magic and nature, the promise of living together more permanently—only to find he had already left the man so parched of love he thought Magnus did not feel it for him at all.

“Or not enough,” his voice had gone a bit soft in memory.

Magnus pulled himself together and reached out his hand to gently lay on Alec’s forearm. He was warm to his touch and the hairs on his arm rose to Magnus’ palm like tiny feathers.

Magnus’ eyes flicked up to Alec’s. “I’m sorry.”

Alec gaped a little then he shook his head sharply and spoke. “What do you mean?”

“That I’m sorry?”

“No. You said you were ‘too much’ or ‘not enough,’” Alec’s eyes narrowed then, “and a few months ago, I remember…you said something like you were ‘a lot to handle.’ What do you mean?”

Magnus sighed and rubbed his thumb across Alec’s skin. It twitched a little beneath his hand but otherwise Alec didn’t move at all.

“There are a few reasons, really. I know we agreed to not worry about the past but you wanted to know so, I guess, here it is.” He took a deep breath. “When I was with Camille, I gave her everything. Everything of me that I could…” He glanced up. Alec stayed silent and waited.

“She wasn’t the first person I’d done that with, not at all, but it…ended badly in different ways each time. There was a djinn named Anesh whom I had loved in all ways but it scared him badly and he disappeared with no warning. Then there was a warlock named Hecate whom I had loved for a time but when she thought about an eternity with me, she grew pale with distaste and told me she could not bear the weight of my feelings for any longer than short bursts of a few months.”

Magnus’ hand trembled and he moved to take it from Alec’s arm before it showed. Too late. Alec quickly grabbed the shaking appendage in both his own. His face was as neutral as possible but his eyes glistened as he listened, betraying his emotions.

“Camille I gave all of myself to in a way I hadn’t before. But she _stayed_ with me…like Anesh hadn’t…like Hecate hadn’t…like others. I thought maybe she would be the one to-” Magnus cut himself off. Struggling to close old wounds that he hadn’t known would still smart. “She took too much of me, Alec. And she gave only sometimes in return. By the time I understood we were not loving in equal measure…or perhaps we were not loving in the same way, it was already too late and I had drained myself in want of her.”

Alec pulled his chair closer to Magnus then, taking one hand from his arm to reach up and gently cup the warlock’s face. Magnus closed his eyes and leaned into the touch before kissing Alec’s palm lightly and continuing.

“No, Camille wasn’t the first but I made her the last. The last one I came on so strongly with. I became more careful since. After her there was Imasu whom I was coming to love deeply but I had grown so cautious since Camille, I held some back. I held too much back. When I thought I might tell him all the truth about me, he told me that I was too light, too noncommittal, and he left me that very day.”

Magnus smiled a little then at Alec like he hadn’t just poured his heart out, like he hadn’t just cut himself open to bleed on the floor.

“I thought I had found the right formula, the right recipe, with you. Not too much so I didn’t overwhelm you, not too little so you knew I _did_ love you.” Magnus let out a dry chuckle. “But it seems I made a misstep again. Made you think- Made you… _God!_ ”

Magnus stood from his stool, lurching towards the kitchen island without any of the grace he had trained himself to use for several centuries now.

Alec turned with him but remained seated. Magnus whirled.

“I’m sorry, Alexander.”

“You don’t have to be,” the first words Alec had spoken in the last ten minutes.

“I do. I thought- You are so new to all of this and I remember I had come on so strong in the beginning. I flirted outrageously and you weren’t ready. I pushed you away and I almost lost you. I thought I would- I thought it best if I toned it down.”

Alec shook his head vehemently.

“I _do_ want you, Alec. So much sometimes, I feel like I could die,” he strode forward then and wrapped the younger man in his arms. Alec’s head fell a few inches shorter than Magnus while sitting on his stool and he buried his face into the older man’s shoulder as he usually did when they hugged, then he twined his arms tight around his waist.

“Sometimes I want to touch you so much I can hardly think of anything else when you’re in the same room,” Magnus whispered into Alec’s ear and stroked his hand through thick hair. “Even just now when you handed me the coffee, I had to tear my thoughts away from kissing your neck.”

Alec shuddered at that and lifted his face up. Heavy lids half closed over hazel eyes gone a little browner in the morning light and framed with the most gorgeous lashes Magnus had ever seen. Magnus brushed his thumb lightly over one of Alec’s arched eyebrows then took Alec’s lips in a kiss neither would ever forget.

Magnus canted his mouth down over Alec’s and the warrior’s lips parted immediately in complete surrender. Magnus shut his own eyes and dove his tongue as deep into Alec’s mouth as it would go. It was messy and sloppy and a little frantic and Magnus loved every minute. He tightened one arm about Alec’s shoulders and slipped his right hand to hold Alec’s face by the jaw in the exact position he preferred and he devoured the younger man.

Alec let out a low whine from deep in his chest and his arms gave a spasm around Magnus before his hands moved to grip him more firmly, one stretched wide across Magnus’ bulging bicep and the other pulling at the collar of his tank top, distending the shape of it. His legs fell open then and Magnus swiftly moved between them, getting as close as possible while he sucked Alec’s bottom lip into his mouth.

Magnus let up on his lips eventually and moved to kiss all across Alec’s face, whispering his words directly into his skin.

“If I started, I feared I would never stop. Touching you and tasting you to my heart’s content.” He kissed under Alec’s chin, pulling his head back firmly with a hand in his hair. He gave a little nip at the Deflect rune he had been eyeing all morning and Alec shuddered almost violently. He grew hard against Magnus’ thigh pressed confidently and deliberately between Alec’s legs.

Alec’s voice came in an echoing whisper. “Don’t stop. Y- you don’t have to stop.”

Magnus pulled back a little then and looked at the younger man to make sure he read the situation correctly. Alec was heaving every breath, eyes still shut and face baring his emotions. Magnus grew somehow fonder with every passing second looking at him.

“Are you sure? What about work?”

“It’s fine. Jace- Jace and Izzy are gonna cover for me for a while longer. They said to take as long as I need. As long as I need…”

Magnus paused. Alec slowly opened his eyes and his breath hitched for being so close to Magnus’ luminescent ones. He gently laid another kiss on Alec’s mouth then moved back suddenly and pulled the taller man to his feet.

They stumbled into Magnus’ bedroom, bright from the open curtains of the windows, and he wasted no time getting Alec sprawled over his crimson duvet. He had to remove every stitch of their clothing manually, mind still on the potion cooling in his work room, but the labor was not laborious at all and he took great care to touch Alec as much as possible along the way.

By the time he had made his way up Alec’s body, both as nude as the day they were born, Alec had become a quaking mess and Magnus was not far behind, if he were honest. He slanted his mouth over Alec’s as he straddled him then got his wits together enough to ask what he needed.

“What do you want, Alec?”

“Whatever you want. Everything you want.” Alec’s hands gripped at his shoulders as Magnus lightly ground them together below.

Magnus leaned back as he studied the young nephilim. Alec had his eyes closed again, his head turned into Magnus’ pillow and his heart beating a samba that showed along his stretched throat. Magnus laid a soft kiss to his forehead, then his cheek, finally to his ear.

“I want to be inside you.”

Alec gave a start then started nodding erratically. He squeezed his hands to grip tighter at Magnus’ shoulders as the older man made his way down his body. Before he moved too far, Magnus leaned over to reach into his night stand and grab a small bottle of lubricant and a condom.

Preparing Alec manually was not anything new to Magnus but he usually had magic as an assist. Today he was hands on and the time he was taking drove Alec to the brink. He could hear it in every moan, each more high pitched and breathier than the last.

Magnus had to admit he might’ve taken a bit longer than strictly necessary. He might’ve indulged himself a little nibbling at Alec’s thighs trying so hard not to clench around his head. He might’ve lost himself a little sucking Alec’s length down his throat, feeling his cock bounce in time to the strokes of his fingers inside. He might’ve taken more pleasure than expected holding Alec’s hips tight to the bed with his strong forearm as he milked cries from Alec’s lips with a bobbing head and a complete lack of a gag reflex.

“Magnus! Angel above, _please_ ,” Alec finally begged and Magnus relented, releasing the nephilim with a pop.

His lips and his goatee glistened with his own spit as he grinned up at Alec still stroking deep with his lubricated fingers. Alec gave out an incredulous chuckle as they met eyes that turned to a breathy moan when Magnus’ fingers rubbed firmly against his prostate. His head fell back and his hands grasped tightly to the sheets.

Magnus sat up and reluctantly pulled his fingers from Alec. He quickly rolled the condom over his own length, added a bit more lubricant, and gave himself a few strokes as his cat eyes studied Alec intently.

Magnus and Alec had been dating for nearly three months now and having sex for a little over two of them, by his estimation. They had done quite a bit but not everything in his repertoire. He remained dedicated, however, to safety regardless of Alec’s early protests that he was a virgin before Magnus and that he trusted him. Magnus was determined to give Alec the full experience of sexual awareness including always using condoms and as much lubricant as they could stand. Alec had come to realize the importance of safe sex very soon and no longer thought twice about the matter.

They were not yet ready to advance to barebacking at all. Plus, in these modern times especially, it was something Magnus personally felt he didn’t want to do until…a different commitment had taken place. Perhaps one day.

“ _Magnus_ …”

Magnus shook himself from thoughts of a possible future to focus on the now.

He rubbed his hands absently along the runes of Alec’s shifting belly, studying him to decide what position to start with. Alec was grabbing at the pillow beneath his head now and his own hair, his knees spread wide in anticipation of Magnus’ hips. Magnus wasn’t sure, however.

“Do you prefer a position, Alexander?” he asked softly.

“Magnus, if you don’t get inside me in the next 30 seconds, I swear by the Sword…”

He gave a throaty laugh in the face of Alec’s glare. “Alright, Alexander, alright. Turn a little.”

Magnus urged Alec onto his side and pulled his top leg bent tight to his font, leaving the bottom out straight. Magnus blessed Raziel for whatever regiment or mystical angelic property that gave shadowhunters such flexible bodies.

When he entered Alec from this angle, it was heaven. He went as deep as possible, slowly, as Alec let out a protracted and personally satisfying moan. Magnus tried very hard not to look boastful. He tucked his torso up against Alec’s back—they had a relatively similar torso lengths—and his own strong thighs strained a bit as they held him in position. He mouthed at Alec’s Deflect rune again. He was definitely going to leave a hickey next to the brand.

He let Alec get used to the fullness of him, still new to things despite how many times they’d had penetrative sex in the last couple of months.

“Are you okay, darling? Does it feel good,” he asked into Alec’s ear, mouthing lightly at his lobe as he gently stroked through Alec’s hair.

Alec whispered back, “Y- yeah. It feels good. Really, really good.” He shifted his hips along Magnus’ and said, “Keep going.”

So Magnus did.

They moved slowly at first but still together. Their bodies had gotten used to each other’s rhythm by now. Sweat lined limbs braced against Magnus’ sheets as they pushed and pushed ever closer to the edge. Their cries escalated in the late morning, sunny bedroom, no need to tamp them down with no pesky roommates to be conscious of hearing.

His breath panted hotly over Alec’s neck as he moved in sharp and tight movements then slowed into a drag as his hips pulled long and deep in a varying rhythm. His hands danced along Alec’s body, memorizing every scar, every divot, every bump and blemish. Alec’s hands alternated between holding his leg up, reaching back and up for Magnus, stroking himself to Magnus’ moving hips, and clutching desperately at the bedding.

By the time they reached their peak Alec had repositioned completely onto his front with his back arched beautifully to take Magnus’ strokes, his knees pressing down into the mattress along with his upper torso. His hands braced against Magnus’ headboard. The duvet and the pillows, save for the one beneath his hips, were scattered to the floor.

Alec was babbling but Magnus could barely decipher the words so he focused on stroking Alec’s cock along to the glide of his thrusts. With no warning and a sharp cry Alec arched and came, squeezing Magnus inside him a little at the same time. He slammed his hand into the headboard in his passion and pushed back into Magnus.

Magnus slowed his movements as Alec finished and eased him through the end of his climax.

When Alec had evened his breathing, Magnus kissed softly along the back of his shoulders and the salty sweet of his glistening skin.

“Magnus, move. I want you to keep going,” Alec managed in a husky whisper.

Magnus ignored him for a moment as he mouthed along the younger man’s ribs leaving red marks and murmured endearments as his beard dragged along sweaty flesh. Alec flushed an even deeper red as he buried his face even more into his arms.

Magnus finally moved again then with a smile, first slowly then with sharp and quick jerks. His left hand grabbed tightly to Alec’s shoulder for leverage and his other laced their fingers and pressed their hands to the sheets. His movements pulled more sounds from Alec’s throat as he went.

When Magnus felt his own climax crest over him, he gave one, two, three deep thrusts and froze locked to Alec’s form. Alec gave his own final cry, louder over Magnus’ lower groans. He grunted a little when Magnus collapsed a little on top and a little to the side of him, sliding his softening length from the younger man.

Magnus pulled off his condom and chucked it into the trashcan beside the bed then rolled back over to Alec. Alec had flipped himself over in the meantime and set immediately to curling into Magnus’ chest, tracing patterns and spreading his long fingers over the expanse of his pectorals. They scooted a bit to get out of the wet spot.

“Raziel, that was probably the best sex we’ve ever had,” there was wonder and amazement in his voice as if Alec hadn’t thought it was possible. Magnus smile and curled big arms around Alec’s head.

“Our first Nooner.”

Alec perked his head up.

“What?”

Magnus stroked Alec’s messy and sweaty hair. “A ‘nooner’ is when you have sex in the middle of the day,” he explained. “Like ‘afternoon’ to ‘nooner.’”

“There’s- there’s a word for that?” He sounded vaguely scandalized.

“There’s a word for everything, trust me, Alexander,” he laughed. “I’ve barely taught you the minimum when it comes to terms.”

“Looking forward to it.”

Magnus smiled widely at that. He just bet Alec was.

“Take a nap, darling. I set an alarm for 1:30 already to let me know when I should prep the bottles for my potion. It’ll serve as a sleep alarm too.”

Alec nodded and leaned over to pull the duvet up from the floor and spread it over them, resting his head over Magnus’ chest to listen to the rhythm of his heart again.

Magnus had just started drifting off when Alec spoke.

“You don’t have to hold back with me, you know,” he went slowly. “I can handle whatever you want to do. I _want_ to.”

Magnus swallowed and kept his eyes closed.

“Touch me when you want. Kiss me when you want. I won’t get scared or run away or- or punish you or whatever.”

Magnus squeezed Alec tighter and nodded into his hair, his own throat clogged up with some emotion that was more complex than joy and hurt too much to just be love.

“I love you, Magnus.”

“I love you too, Alexander,” Magnus whispered still with a slightly disbelieving voice. Like he couldn’t quite grasp that Alec was truly his to touch and kiss and love. Though he was.

The two drifted off together after that.

***

When Alec stumbled into the Institute a little after 2pm, Jace gave him a _look_ with a raised brow but they didn’t speak.

He had told Aldertree that Alec had gone information gathering on a local warlock possibly up to no good. Jace figured that was so close to the truth, it _basically_ was true and made sure Izzy had the same story. If he suspected anything, he made no mention of it.

Judging from the burst of happiness Jace had felt through the bond a few hours before, he could guess Alec and Magnus had worked out their understanding. It didn’t take a genius to figure out how either considering the time gap between what he’d felt and when Alec had rolled his ass into work. Jace preferred not to think on it too hard and staunchly ignored the blatant hickey that sat next to Alec’s Deflect rune.

Jace pursed his lips and thought about how it might be time to move back to the Institute.

When he passed Izzy in the hall on her way to her lab, he shot her a thumbs up. She nodded with a smile and that was the end of that non-conversation.

Oh yeah, their Alec-pathy was back in business for sure now.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, there you go. An actual one-shot that stays a one-shot. 
> 
> Also, I don’t often write sex scenes so let me know how that was. I actually hadn’t planned to add a little lemon in this but while I was writing, it just flowed so naturally that I kept going. 
> 
> I mostly just wanted to dig into Magnus’ psyche a bit. He is my favorite character after all.
> 
> Also, for some reason, I thought it'd be fun to frame/bookend the entire thing in Jace's psyche. lmao, leave me alone. XD
> 
> PS. I made up some lovers for Magnus that aren't in the books or show. Roll with it.


End file.
